In the wild jungles of the yarn stash there lives an obnoxiously pink creature called “Pink ribbon Trekking XXL”. It’s said this skein of yarn is dyed soley for the production of it’s offspring…….The Booby Sock. The care and feeding of this creature is unknown but it’s been said it requires “decorative beads”. First discovered by Rosemary “Chappy” Chapman, the offspring of “Pink Ribbon Trekking XXL” is said to be a pain in the ass to knit…………….Ok, lost interest.
Exactly what spawn of Satan was sitting around the castle and said, “I think I’ll knit tubes with five very pointy sticks. Naaaa, that’s to easy. Let’s add a sixth stupid looking needle that’s way too big for the stitches and microscopically cable the tubes!”? I’m knitting these darn things (I have vowed only to knit two socks at once unless I plan to lose a foot) and I have the fifth needle sticking up from between my ever so capable thighs (no space in between these puppies…….enough chub there to grip needles like a vice) and I have a cable needle hanging out of my mouth while I’m completely tangled in yarn. Post it notes I’m using to keep track of my place are always stuck to my butt (which is a very handy place to keep them for your information) and I don’t even know if these things will fit my dog when I’m done!
While I’m sure Ms. Chappy is a very capable and clever knitter, the directions say nothing about swatching (not that I’ve ever swatched in my life but I can’t pass up the opportunity to be indignant over the lack of swatching instructions). They also lack any reference to sock size. Now I’ve been conducting an informal foot diameter survey and am pretty sure the ankles on the chick in the cookie isle yesterday (not that I would be IN a cookie isle) are just a tad more substantial than the ankles on my son’s girlfriend (who wore a napkin to prom I might add).
But here I am the dedicated knitter. I have cabled two little pink cuffs, “walked for the cure” with the basketweave band, and am now on the pink ribbon band where I may be for many many years to come. p2, c2kpb, c2pkf, p2 repeat……………………………
This is what they will look like when they are done.
I do believe my sock nipples may lack the perkiness promised but then so do my other ones. I’m considering nipple rings so I can tie them up to my earlobes in the event they begin to get caught in my pants zipper. But then that’s another post.
